NYE 10-11

I had no idea on NYE of 09-10 how much I would grow this year, of course I was excited at the thought of meeting baby Aiden and how long and hard we tried and waited so patiently for his arrival. I had no idea that my heart would grow 3 sizes that day and how I trusted this tiny 8 lb baby boy with my heart til the day I die. The fact that he took my heart so willingly and has never let it go in the 8 months we have been together makes my heart feel happy. Even the days I question whether I know what the heck I am doing as some one's mother, one smile from this incredible baby boy and I know this is exactly where I am supposed to be. My life is exactly where it is supposed to be and that makes me happy. Aiden is pulling up on everything he can and then smiles the biggest, gummiest grin when we clap for him. He is just starting to cruise along the furniture although he forgets sometimes to move the feet along with the arms but that will come soon enough. My baby doesn't want to be a baby anymore although he still enjoys a good cuddle with Mama and that is usually the best part of my day. One smile from him and my heart could burst. He knows me and we are his whole world...life is right where it should be so bring on 2011!!!

Houston, we have lift off!

Got admitted yesterday evening with exacerbation of pregnancy induced hypertension meaning my current high blood pressure had risen again and the MD's felt it was best to just go ahead and move my scheduled induction from Tuesday the 27th to Friday the 23rd. I had been begging for baby A to make an appearance, but was anxious when the docs finally said OK. Checking at at 4, had 2 amazing RN's taking care of me overnight along with some great OB docs. They did 2 rounds of Cytotec which is supposed to soften your cervix and start some contractions. First dose, you lie in bed on contraction monitor for 2 hrs then you are free to sit up and move around. They checked and I was still 1 cm and 50% effaced, so no real change. Up comes dose # 2 and after an hour things were rocking on the monitor! At 4 hrs they checked me and I was having some major contractions but of course, only some slight progress. Now I know what they mean when they say "when contractions start, you will know it!" They were pretty uncomfortable in my lower back but can only imagine they will get worse on pitocin this morning. Thank god for the epidural! I walked a lap around the ward and I am pretty uncomfortable, so I am back in bed. Hubbs got about 6 hrs sleep to my 1.5 hrs but he is gonna need to be strong for me today so it's all good. Hoping to see baby A by the end of the day today!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!

April 7th

My maternity photos are in:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55886&id=1133312419&l=391a4c7f76

March 28th

Our first "real scare" was this morning. I woke up at 6:30 and sat up just like every single day of my life. I instantly got so dizzy and the room did 4 or 5 quick spins. Reminded me of my younger days when you woke up and realized you were still drunk from the night before? Ahhhh....the memories! But anyhow, I came downstairs (carefully mind you) and had some water. The lightheaded feeling continued and if I moved my head too quick the room spun. Made a cup of coffee and took one sip and got nauseous. This was weird, so I decided to call the after hours line just in case. They called me right back and said to come in just in case.

I woke up S and I am sure he thought it was because the baby was on his way when I said "We need to head into the hospital." One long dizzy car ride in and we were admitted to labor and delivery triage where they hooked me right up to some fetal monitors. Aiden was bouncing around in there, happy as a clam! My blood pressure which has been running in the 110's/60's was at 138/83. Yuck! They took it about 5 more times and it was always the same. They drew some pre-eclampsia labs which luckily all came back OK! My urine had trace protein in it, but it does every appointment so that was OK too. They discharged me, but are "keeping me on their radar" per the RN. I told them we would see them in 4 weeks, and the RN just winked at me. I have been saying since the beginning that I thought it was mid April and he has measured that way this whole pregnancy, always 1.5-2 weeks ahead.

Anyhow, I will be 36 weeks this Tuesday and am grateful that baby is doing so well in there. I have had a few sad moments this past week as 2 good friends of mine who are still on their IF journey have had tough times. A coworker whom I love is just starting IUI's and getting frustrated at the heartbreak of that call every month with the "I'm sorry but your not pregnant this month. My TTC buddy just had her 6th loss and I can say/do nothing to make it any better. It breaks my heart and I cried like a baby for her. It takes me back to just a year ago when we were just heading towards IVF and I was feeling like this would never happen for us and here I am a year later with a beautiful baby boy about to make his debut in a few short weeks. I have been complaining a lot more lately about the aches and pains but this brought it right into perspective again. I am one lucky girl and I just need to remember that!

March 15th

I feel so incredibly lucky to be at this point in my pregnancy. We have had an amazing baby shower where our friends truly spoiled us, and even though I got a bit emotional when thanking everyone they knew it was truly heartfelt. My life right now is pretty awesome! I keep thinking at this point next month Aiden could be here, and that thought makes my head spin. I know every pregnant woman says that they don't think they will honestly go "the whole way until their due date" but I just have a weird feeling/intuition. He has been measuring ahead for quite awhile now, with 2 weeks ago his head measurement placing him at 37 weeks! It is quite possible if I can get this giant head out that the rest of the delivery will be a piece of cake!! Hahaha

The one thing I would change about this pregnancy and the only thing I would ever complain about is the heartburn! It is horrific and bothersome every single day! I am taking Prilosec twice a day and then still taking Tums at some point during the night. I think right now it is much worse only because there is no room for any of my internal organs, since my big headed son takes up all the room in there!! I love him and love all the crazy kicking he does, but the acid can leave anytime it wants to!

March 7th

Eeeeek, yes I am writing this at almost 2 am on the day of my baby shower. In 9 hours everyone who I love will be in the same room to celebrate that finally I get to bring have the baby we have so desperately prayed for. I keep thinking right now that Aiden will be here next month and it gets me all crazy! I can so easily revert my feelings back to this time last year when I didn't know if I could make it through another failed cycle, but I did. I have a few friends right now that are cycling and I feel their pain so vividly. I don't know who decided it was finally my time but I thank God everyday that they did. I am excited for this new chapter, but scared as well. I know S. and I will be good parents and will love this gorgeous baby boy more than life itself. I cannot wait to meet you Aiden and to kiss those chubby little cheeks I keep seeing on the ultrasound pictures. To all of my family and friends that are just as close as family, thank you for sticking by me through this and I love you all more than you will EVER know!

February 16th

30 weeks! I have a hard time believeing it, but we are indeed 30 weeks today. I feel like I waited so long to actually get pregnant and now I am almost done! It seems so surreal at times, and then he usually kicks me in the baldder to bring me right back to this being reality! :) Last Monday we went to have a 3D ultrasound at a place in Boston, and even though it was $130, it was the best money I have spent in a very long time! Was so incredible to see Aiden look "like a real baby" instead of the baby in the other ultrasounds we have where he still looks a skeleton like. He moved around so much during the ultrasound that even the tech remarked that we may have a little tornado on our hands in April. I am just so happy that he is growing right on schedule and appears to be a perfectly healthy little boy!

Here is a sneak peek..

February 7th

I am a bad, bad blogger! Things here have been status quo, so I haven't had too much to say for once. We had a great appointment on Friday starting off with seeing our beautiful baby boy on the ultrasound hanging out. Good news is for now he is head down which also explains all the weird low pains I have been having which is probably him bumping into my cervix as he is wiggling around in there. Going with the TMI route now, so be prepared! When he bumps into my cervix it feels like a combination of having to poop really badly and about to puke all at the same time. Luckily it only lasts like 5 seconds for now, so it's bearable. I think someday I will actually miss these kicks/punches/bumping around even though right now they are getting increasingly uncomfortable. They estimated Aiden weighing in at approx. 3.5 lbs with a 5 oz margin of error, which still gives us 3-3.5 lbs. She said he was in the 78% for weight but didn't give us a length estimate that I remember. We saw Dr T instead of Dr G (who was on vacation) and she said things looks perfect so far. I am so relieved that things are going smoothly as a very good friend just had her twins at 32 weeks. I so would not be ready to have this baby in the next 2-3 weeks. I want him to stay put until April, even if it does feel like he might fall out at some points. I love you little boy and Mommy can't wait to meet you....in April!!!

January 8th

So, I have been a bit nervous (but totally trying to play it off of course) that Aiden who was so active last weekend has been so quiet the last few days. Typically I feel him tossing and turning several times a day, and then it's been down to once of twice a day the past few days. I have been fighting myself with calling the OB office, but I seem to call them for everything and don't want to be "that patient." So, last night after my 3rd trip to the bathroom between 9 pm and midnight, it took me awhile to fall back asleep. Lo and behold, Aiden was awake and moving like a madman! Maybe he has mixed up his day/nights the last few days and I have had nothing to be freaking out about? This whole pregnancy thing is so new to me, so being no expert I freak out. It's what I am best at, but I have to believe this pregnancy is going to result in my baby in April. I have to for my own sanity. A few girls from thebump.com that I read religiously have had losses this week and it's messing with my brain I think?

January 2, 2010

So, baby Aiden has been very active today which is soo much fun but the bigger he is getting this less this tickles. He is currently just above 1 pound and about 13 inches long, and still giving me quite the wallop when he gets going. I cannot even imagine how this might be when he is 6-7 pounds and really doesn't have much room to move and gets his feet caught under my ribs and stuff. I feel like that is coming sooner than later, considering that at my 21 week appt, he was measuring a solid 3 weeks ahead. Maybe that's why he is so active? He thinks he is heading towards 30 weeks now instead of just about 24 weeks?? I would love to have an ultrasound on all the time and be able to peek in there and see what he is doing when it feels like he is going nutso in there!!!

December 22nd

So we have started to be able to feel those gorgeous little kicks on the outside finally!! What an amazing thing for Sean to be able to finally get a small glimpse into what has been cooking for the last 5.5 months. The look on his face when he finally felt it was like nothing I have ever seend before, if I put my hand to my belly now he will push my hand out of the way to "cop a feel". Aiden loves his Daddy so he usually complies. Yay for another milestone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

December 18th

Well, our monthly visit with Dr G was this morning and Aiden was very excited this morning. He choose to wake me with a well placed kick to the bladder that made me almost pee the bed! Strong work lil B, strong work! I got up and Sean had gotten me coffee and Aiden and I settled in for some couch time before heading out.

Dr G measured my tummy which they start doing at your 20 week appointment and the number of cm from your pubic bone to the top of your uterus should coincide with the number of weeks you are. Well sir Aiden is measuring ahead by 2+ weeks and either he is going to be a big boy or Mommy needs to cut out of the afternoon snack. I gained 4 lbs this month for a grand total of 10 lbs. Dr G wants me to try and stay closer to 25 lbs since I am not a tiny girl to start with. We also found out that starting at 28 weeks, I will have an u/s every visit since my pre exisiting high blood pressure can wear out the placenta prematurely which would slow Aiden's growth down. They will use these u/s to ensure Aiden is growing like he should and that everything looks peachy keen.

I like the thought of being able to see him every week until I get to meet him in April. The time is suddenly flying and the thought of being already more than half way through this pregnancy is CRAZY!

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, or holiday!

December 14th

So, saw some pictures of me and baby bump Aiden from Friday (my work Christmas party) and I truly have a cute bump going on. It made me feel silly to feel happy about something so small, but we have been waiting sooo long for this! Yay me!

December 13th

So, I decided to start a new blog as the old one was "leaking" some info to people who don't deserve to know what is going on in my life now! They know who they are, and they suck!
0- :) <--that's my innocent face, see my halo?

The downside is that my original blog included all of my TTC journey leading up to that amazing day (August 14th) when we got the news we had long awaited! So, this first entry will be an annoyingly long overview how we got to the point we are now!

March 17, 2007- married the man I was supposed to be with forever in a crazy Irish bash complete with green beer, Irish step dancers, and a video clip on Joe Costig (voice of the Red Sox) announcing us into our reception! (so cooooool!) We begin casually trying to have a baby complete with timed sex and ovulation sticks galore!

July 2007- bought our house in Dedham, and moved for hopefully the last time ever! Sometime mid July I got a positive HPT and began to feel great that it was so "easy" to get pregnant when I was so settled in my new life?

September 11, 2007- Woke up to spotting and bad cramping and proceeded to miscarry over the next few days, although the RN said it's always copmething genetic at this point. We are devestated!!

December 2007- September 2008- 2 major surgeries (11 weeks of bedrest after a badly broken ankle and multiple tests to find a small hole in my heart) we finally arrive at Boston IVF and meet "our Savior" Dr P.) We get our diagnosis as unexplained infertility, which is like a giant punch in the stomach! "So there is really no reason why you aren't getting pregnant, you just are unlucky pretty much?"

September 2008-July 2009- 3 failed IUI's with Clomid and 3 failed IUI's with Bravelle/Ganarelix/Ovidrel leads us to IVF finally! They retrieve 27 follicles! 17 fertilize, we transfer the best 2 and freeze 3 more. IVF #1 - BFN!!! :(

August 2009- After a heartwrenching BFN, Dr P suggests as FET because we need to let me body recover from the "bit of overstim from the July cycle". My body was a rockstar, but alas no BFP that cycle. I was convinced a FET wouldn't work if a fresh cycle didn't! But it was a FET cycle or waiting so we went for it. August 3rd we transferred 2 beautiful fetilized embies and settled in for 2 days of self imposed strict bedrest! The couch may still have my butt print in it??

August 14, 2009- Beta Day! We get the news we waited for forever, I was pregnant although my number was a bit low at 44. They "like" to see around 100 but frozen cycles sometimes start off slower than fresh cycles.

Our repeat betas keep quadrupling!! Ultrasound shows 1 beautiful little heartbeat and we get released from the RE!

Now, I am almost 21 weeks pregnant with a crazy little baby boy named Aiden who is set to make his debut on April 27th, 2010! I couldn't be more happy to have backaches, heartburn, and throwing up occasionally since he is happy and healthy per the doctors!

Man, that was long winded! You should probably have skipped this post anyhow, but since you read all the way to here....you rock! :) Here's to April 2010!!!!